I'm experiencing such a wave of emotions today. This morning I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but by 2pm I felt really tired and withdrawn. I have managed to stay on plan as far as yesterday's 'To-Do' list goes, but my walk has been abandoned due to the downpour of rain and hail. At one point, I was contemplating putting my coat on to "brave the odds"... but when the hail began pounding against the window pane, I knew that any walk I'd planned wouldn't be a pleasant one!
However, all is not lost. This morning I managed to train and have sat at my altar this morning to connect with my inner-feminine energy. I shuffled my oracle deck and drew a card on feminine "sisterhood" and spirituality. Ironically, I have been trying to connect with other feminine souls like me who want to chart their cycles and engage in menstrual awareness and deeper conversations, but I've had intermittent Instagram issues and this has left me feeling so frustrated. Not only did Instagram not allow me to post, tag, or even add my bio - it linked a bio to my page which was not my original link!! This card was apt to me because I am yearning for a connection with others. What's more, these new eyes are seeing the world more clearly, and this awakening has been beautiful.
My emotions have been quite raw today which perhaps signifies that this time is a cross-over period for me. I don't think I have banished my inner-critic just yet, which must mean that She now stands between the winter and spring's door and wants to halt my natural transition. I call her She because She fills me with such negativity that acknowledging her dark thoughts and realising that they are mine can be quite triggering (and damaging) for me. I am trying to understand why I am so hard on myself, but so accepting of others, but I don't have the answers just yet; they're not in reach.
I have yoga planned tonight so I'm hoping some of these emotions can be addressed on the mat. I need to cry.
Until next time.
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